My Last Blog Post

Ah, this is a hard decision to make, and a sad one in light of what I recently wrote about my "blog sisters."  But it is time for me to take my blog down for my family's privacy, something that has been somewhat of a point of anxiety for me for some time.  I am going to technically make my blog private instead of deleting it, only because I want to be able to access some of my writings myself in the future.  But I won't be writing any more.  If you know me (and I know you) and would like to stay in touch via Facebook, I have made my profile slightly more public so you can send me a friend request at Vera Chenault.  If there's something specific you want to access on my blog as it stands right now, email me and I'll let you in (if I know you).

I truly appreciate the friendships I have made through blogging and how gracious y'all have been about my ramblings on and my endless pictures of kids.  This has been a fun, therapeutic, comfortable place for me to write. THANK YOU!!!

And don't worry, if I read your blog, I will continue to do so... I may even finally have time to comment ha!

 

Sophia's First Day

Sophia's first day of second grade was FANTASTIC!  I am so relieved.  After all the school turmoil of the last couple of years, I am hopeful that we are finally settled.  School-wise anyway.  We are still house-hunting (in the SAME school district ha!)



I promised Sophia I would walk her in and stay for morning assembly on the first day.  All the kids gather in the auditorium at the beginning of school and sit by their grade.  They sing the national anthem, say the pledge of allegiance, the school pledge (love it!), have announcements from the principal (including getting birthday pencils if they have a birthday that week), and then sing The Responsibility Song.  Sophia did great, though that last song was kind of loud and wild! And then I stood up to leave, and she gave me that horrible striken look, like she was going to burst into tears. I just rushed out of there.  She told me last night "I almost cried, but I didn't" then I said "I cried a little" and she said "Why Mom? I'm just a couple of blocks from you!"  I think she'll be juuuust fine :)

Sure enough - she made two new friends and loves her teacher.  Several friends of mine who are teachers or parents at the school have checked in on her, which is so reassuring to me in a big place like that.  What a relief!

And Amelia is still really happy too.  We had a back to school pool party for her last night, and I took both girls.  It was so sweet how they were glued to each other - I can tell they missed being together all day like they have been all summer.



I LOVE fall and the weather has felt merciful and much more fall-like than most Augusts (after a brutal summer) this week ~ it is making me very excited about pumpkin-everything, soccer games, falling leaves, cool nights, running outside, and, oh yes, blessed routines!

Back to School

All my posts lately start with "it's been a crazy week," but truly, it has been.  Davis has been out of town for a whole week (he comes back tonight!) and I've been working from home with the kids, which really just means lots of late nights and not much sleep.  But we all survived.  I stayed caught up at work, stocked the freezer for an even crazier week next week, and bought a car via internet chat ha! I sent the dealership a message saying "if you can get me X car for X dollars and bring the car and paperwork to my house tomorrow morning, you've got a deal,"  and they said okay.  I'm never going to a car dealership again!  I wish I could do the same with Starbucks - "if you can get me a venti coffee with extra nonfat milk for $3 and bring it to my house in ten minutes, you've got a deal."

Anyway, lots lots going on last week... most importantly, Amelia started Kindergarten Thursday!

Oh boy this girl was excited. She has been counting down the days all summer and could hardly contain herself (can you tell from the picture?)  She came home so very happy, which made me glad, because we are at new schools again this year and this whole starting school thing still brings back a lot of sadness for me over our school that closed.  But she is HAPPY HAPPY, and I think she is exactly where she needs to be.

Sophia is starting school at a different school tomorrow, and after going to Meet the Teacher on Friday, she is excited too.  She's been nervous, but she liked her teacher and classroom.  The boy sitting across the desk from her is the son of a guy I went to college with, and we happened to run into them at a frozen yogurt place Friday and got to visit.  Little things like that make SUCH a difference!

Today at church we had a blessing of the kids' backpacks.

I LOVED this blessing:

We also had cake to celebrate the birthday of our choirmaster/organist/Sophia's piano teacher.  I love this picture and how Henry is seriously cradling that cake.  Cake is serious business when you're two!

And so, with much anticipation and excitement, we start the school year.  Kindergarten, second grade, gymnastics, soccer, piano, German... we will not be bored!

Wordless Wednesday ~ Back to Business

Mothering, Intuition, Books, and Sister Mothers

Do you know why I love blogging?  Because this morning I read this post by my blog friend, Leighann, and in her comments I linked to this post of mine from last year.  And she commented on my post, which led to an email exchange that energized me to think about things... and ultimately this blog post.  I LOVE this blog sisterhood of mothers!  I am very choosy about the blogs that I read regularly, partly out of necessity because I need to limit computer time, but also because I want to spend that time reading from women whose opinions I value, not whose houses I envy.  Oh and I have GOOD mom blogs that I read!  They make me think about my own parenting decisions and motivate me to do a better job, women who have been real friends as we go through tough times, who are willing to engage in conversations without turning them into ugly debates, Blog Sisters.

I was telling a friend the other day, that I think I am in my favorite decade of life (but who knows, the next may be better!)  I have left behind the insecurity and uncertainty of my 20's, but still have the physical health and ability of being young (and I do thank God for that daily!).  I am confident in my decisions and the way that I choose to live my life, with not an ounce of keeping up with the Joneses or insecurity about my parenting.  I know what career I have, who my children will be (all of them!), what our priorities are, how to be happily married to Davis, who I am, what I want and don't want... life is good.

As with my Blog Sisters, I have surrounded myself with a sisterhood of mothers who support me rather than undermine me, who respect our parenting differences without defensiveness, who are wise and help me to be a better mother.  Many are a few steps ahead of me, with teenagers, a few are grandmothers, all of them are amazing mothers.  They are my village.

This morning, when I pulled up my Tiger Mom post from last year, I briefly skimmed it, just to remind myself what I wrote (my body may be healthy in my 30's, but by golly my memory is shot!) I saw what I wrote about hating parenting books, and I realized that I have changed my mind about that in the past year.  And that was what Leighanne and I talked about... So, now that my children are one year older, let me share my new and changed view about parenting books (parenting is nothing if not figuring things out as you go, and being willing to change your mind!)

What I still hate, are parenting books about BABIES, written for and read by new and expecting first time moms.  I truly believe that mothers (except, perhaps a very, very few whose mental illnesses or past damage have interfered) have within them the knowledge and intuition to care for their babies.  I feel sad for us 1970's kids who were left to cry, because some male doctor wrote a book telling our mothers not to spoil us.  I feel sad for mothers who can't get their baby to be happy, because none of the tricks they read about in some book worked.  I chuckle when I hear a pregnant first time mom tell me that, based on her reading, she has decided against co-sleeping and will swaddle, feed on a schedule, whatever...

The thing is, babies are all different.  Families are different.  If a mother spends her time getting to know her baby rather than reading books written by people who had other babies, I believe her time will be much better spent.  In fact, I think the damage those books (and magazine articles) do, is that they make mothers DOUBT.  And that, to me, is sad.  Because doubt is a great squelcher of intuition. 

Leighann brought up the great point that generally we spend much less time with our extended families and other mothers now, and that because we no longer have 8 or 9 siblings, less time caring for babies as we are growing up.  And so, yes, there may be a steeper learning curve for 21st Century new moms.  However,  I still believe that so much of mothering babies and young children is intuitive, and that knowing when to feed our babies and get them to sleep and be happy comes from getting to know them.  For more information, I would much rather see new mothers turn to their sister mothers than some book.  Surround yourself with mothers you admire, who will not prosthelytize but share, and pick their brains and talk things through with them... and then make up your own mind, knowing your own child!

BUT here is where I have changed my mind about books... I now have school age children.  I have come to realize in the past year, that mothering older children is so much harder than mothering babies and toddlers and preschoolers.  Sure, they sleep through the night and can wipe their own bottoms... but now they are asking hard questions and grappling with BIG issues, and it takes a much more deliberate approach to parent them well.  And (this is important!) by the time your children are older, you know them and you are more confident in what you believe, and so in reading parenting books/articles, you are more easily able to weed out the things that will not work for your family or that you disagree with without doubting your own belief system.  I have found some wonderful and valuable parenting books that address parenting older children, and I have been devouring them.  I finished these two just this past month

And there were wonderful ideas in them, things that energized me to be a better mother, tricks that I had never thought of.  There were also things that I knew would not work for us, and I was able to discard them. 

I think in the end, the lesson is this: be willing to learn as a mother - always.  Learn first who your children are, acknowledging that each is unique with his own needs.  Spend time with them, un-distracted, hearing them, holding them, learning who they are.  Then discern what your values and priorities are, so that you can have a framework upon which to build your parenting decisions.  Then find your village, your sister mothers - whether they are your own mother and grandmother, friends, bloggers - and use their own experiences and values to help you think about your own family, acknowledging that their circumstances are different than yours and that's okay.  And finally, reach out to books, seminars, magazines, blogs whose writers you may not know, etc., acknowledging that these "experts" may have incredibly valuable information to make you a better mother, but in the end you are still the expert about your own children.

The End of Summer

Oh how I wish this was really the end of summer... the end of these crazy 105 degree days.  I am cranky and worn out and just so DONE with this weather! Every August I want to move far away from here, but this has been the worst!  I have been talking Davis's ear off about Maine again.  *sigh*

It may not be the end of summer temperatures (at least a month and a half to go!) but it IS almost the end of summer vacation.  This summer flew by way too quickly!

(I have been awful about taking pictures ~ Instagram has been come so easy for me, I have kept my big camera in its bag far too much!)

Last weekend my mother was in town and we spent the weekend at the lake, literally just sitting out in the water until even that got too hot - then we'd go inside, and I would put ice cubes on my wrists and stand over the a/c vents.  Really.





I birthed Arkansans, though, and the heat just doesn't seem to bother them.



We went out to dinner and had lovely shrimp that reminded me of our time at the beach.  Henry yelled "BOAT!" every time a boat came by the deck.



Snuggles at the lake house (my kids always seem extra nice to each other when we are away from home ~ what's up with that?)



I got up early in the mornings to work while everyone was still sleeping ~ with a view like this, I'm pretty much ready to move my office for good!



Sushi date when we got home!





I finally - I think! I hope! - got everything together for school... new shoes, uniforms for Amelia, a backpack for her, school supplies, and all those random things you need (shot records, socks, and the checks... I may have gone through an entire checkbook last week!)  I have written our name and address more times than I can count - I really don't get it, why all the paperwork has to be so repetitive.

The girls' art cabinet/homework caddy/after school snacks are ready



Amelia got brand new glasses



And I think we are all set!  Amelia starts Kindergarten (!) next Thursday, and Sophia starts 2nd grade the following Monday.  We are cramming in every last playdate we can between now and then. 

I have started waking everyone up at 6:30 and turning into Mean Mommy at bedtime.  We got down to business about chores and schedules and doing work before playing when we had our family meeting this week.  With two kids in two different schools (and two at home), three kids in gymnastics, one in soccer, one in piano... we have to run a tight ship!

Our last night of late bedtimes was Family Night this week - we had a movie night



we watched The Great Race.  Do you know it? I LOVED this movie when I was a kid, and my kids loved it too ~ yay!



Are you ready for school to start?

Road Tripping With Kids!

Oh boy, this post took me only a whole week longer to write than I had planned.  Last week was killer - nothing like a week of blissful vacation to create a nightmare when you get home, right? Monday I had nonstop meetings from 6:45 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. and 600 emails to catch up on at work! Insanity!  So, unedited pictures and probably lots of typos, but I am submitting this post!

I am excited to share with you some things I learned planning our road trip to the beach!  A LOT of planning went into this trip, obviously because I wanted to have a fun, relaxing vacation without tears. But more than that, honestly, I spend MONTHS looking forward to this trip - there were some very stressful weeks this spring and summer at work, and rather than lying awake at night thinking about that, I would lie there at night and think about what I would pack, or what I would bring for the kids in the car, when we finally went away to the beach...

And here's what I came up with! I am happy to report that, truly, we had a very pleasant trip ~ with four kids ages 7, 5, 2, and 8 months.  We hit some crazy traffic in Alabama, so overall we were in the car for 15 hours with only one hour break!

Okay, let's start with the girls...

I was VERY excited to find this bin thing to go between the girls' seats in the third row of our Expedition (Sophia is in a booster seat, and Amelia is in a GIANT Britax Regent car seat, and this fit PERFECTLY between the two).
I also love that it fastens to the seat, so it stays put and I don't have to worry about it flying around if we have to brake hard.

 
 

I loved that the top was hard, so they could use it like a table.  Each girl had a cup holder for water bottles, lots of little pockets on the sides for gum, chapstick, etc. and then a very big compartment inside for lots of goodies.



Normally, I am ALL about sharing things and I really try not to encourage all that "this is mine, that is yours" business between the girls.  But life is life, and two sisters 19 months apart will fight over ANYTHING if they are together long enough... say, for example, in a car for 15 hours.  SO, I came up with a color-coding system for our trip.  Everything green is Sophia's and everything pink is Amelia's (their favorite colors).  Blue was Henry and orange was Wyatt.  I bought these little mini round stickers and stuck them on EVERYTHING.  Every little snack pouch, every individual pencil, everything had those stickers on them.  And it worked!  Not a single fight.



So, in that big black box, the girls had little packs of trail mix, Poptarts (we leave at 4:00 a.m. while the kids are sleeping, then when they wake up 2-3 hours later, they get to eat a breakfast treat that they don't normally get at home ~ that keeps them happy for another little while!), packs of gum, fruit snacks, and water bottles.  Oh and Cheetos ~ this is a (gross) road trip tradition in our family.  It was nice not to have to dole out snacks.

For sleeping, I got these for the kids, and they loved them.  This was especially nice for Sophia, who has complained that it is much harder to sleep in her booster seat than a 5-point harness.



I made little binders for each of the girls to put in the big black bin.  I got these 5x8 inch binders and made one for each girl.



On the inside, I stuck a little piece of hard cardboard that they could use to put behind pages they were coloring for a hard surface.



Then I put pencil holders in each one.  No crayons in a hot car! And no I wasn't kidding - each pencil had a green or pink dot on it!



I made some laminated pages that could be used and re-used with a dry erase marker.  I hot glue-gunned a pom pom (oh yes, pink and green!) on each one, which the girls could use as an eraser - this worked great!



The first item in the binder, was a laminated sheet that showed our trip.  I numbered milestones along the way - (1) home, (2) welcome to Louisiana, (3) welcome to Mississippi, (4) lunch in Hattiesburg, (5) welcome to Alabama, and (6) condo.  It was great to be able to just refer to those when the kids asked where we were or how much farther.



Also, I made little clippies out of clothespins, which I clipped to the visor in the front seat.  If the kids were being good, their clippies stayed up.  If they were crying, whining, fighting, etc. their clippies came down.  If their clippies were up when we reached one of our milestones, they would get $1 to buy a treat at the next stop.  Only one clippy came down the whole trip! (Henry, of course)



Behind the map, I had a roadtrip bingo game that I found online, which I also laminated so they could play and erase.



Then a tic tac toe sheet, also laminated.



And then the rest of the pages were all different coloring sheets, word searches, and other simple games I found online and just copied and printed. I didn't laminate those, they just colored them in with their color pencils.  I also had some blank pages at the end for them to doodle on.








They also each had their Leapsters, my old camera (to share), an iPod Touch (to share), and a bunch of books.  I also found this travel memory game, which was GREAT! I also ordered some of these sticker books for the girls.



Honestly, this was WAY more stuff than they needed! We could have probably driven twice as far.  It's been kind of nice, when we've been in the car since our trip, the kids have been really happy, playing with their binder and stuff.

Henry was surprisingly happy too.  For him, I just used one of these stroller clips to attach his little backpack to the door handle on his door so he could reach it and it wouldn't spill.  I put a sippy cup of water in the cup holder on his car seat.  Then he got snacks, books, sticker books, and toys like Matchbox cars and trains and toy dinosaurs in the backpack.




He also loved this and this and this sticker book.

He was also really happy to just watch trucks and trains along the way.

And when we were stuck in traffic, he got the iPod and was perfectly entertained the rest of the way.  I will do a post at some point about good apps for toddlers and preschoolers ~ there are some really great, educational ones out there that the kids love.  Henry learned his colors from one on this trip!



Oh and the Magnadoodle! How can I forget that... all time BEST entertainment for toddlers.  All of my kids have loved these at this age.  Henry is obsessed with Blues Clues right now, and he calls this is "notebook" :)




Wyatt, well, he's just happy.  He is.  All the time.  I nursed him and changed him a couple of times, and he had this robot, which he LOVES, but mostly he was just his normal happy, laid back self!



I am pretty strict about limiting stops when we are on the road.  I make sure we have everything packed and organized in the car (I made a binder for us, too, with maps, a menu from the restaurant we were stopping at, stamps for postcards, and all the information on the condo, etc.) and the car full of gas, and then I don't stop except for planned stops and emergencies.  When we stop for gas, I make everyone get out and go to the bathroom and get anything they might need/want.  Except for the big traffic jam at the end, we were actually ahead of schedule all the way!

And on the way down, we never even used the DVD player - the kids were happy with their toys and binders and books, and we played a few road trip games. Happy, happy memories!

Our {Instagram} Beach Vacation

We got home late last night from our glorious beach vacation.  It really was perfect - one evening, just to PROVE to me that it was perfect, God arranged for pink sunset waves, a full rainbow, and jumping dolphins as Amelia and I swam in the ocean.  I felt like I was in a poster or dream!

My obsessive planning worked out perfectly, and I'll be posting about our road trip strategies and condo crock pot meals and things... BUT I did not properly research or think about the use of my expensive camera on the beach.  For one thing, I was a nervous wreck with all the sand and water, having it on the beach.  I refused to change lenses for fear of sand getting down into the camera.  And because of the insane humidity, whenever I took the camera out of the cold condo, it would fog up horribly.  Add to that the bright sun, which made it impossible for me to see the screen to check my settings, I totally gave up trying to take fancy pictures at the beach.  I regret that a little, and I'll post the few pictures I did take later... but mostly I just enjoyed a break from the camera, from my computer, from blogs, and Facebook, and just carried my phone and took Instagram pictures.  It ended up being the perfect, low key way of documenting our vacation.

So here it is :)

(oh my gosh, this is SO many pictures!!)

We headed out at 4 a.m. with all the kids still sleeping



And at sunrise we were already almost out of the state

 

and the kids were still asleep

 

Our first stop was at McDonald's somewhere out in the middle of nowhere for some coffee and a potty break ~ the kids were SO happy that we were headed to the beach!

 

Henry saw a train in Vicksburg and talked about it for the next hour




Perfectly on-schedule, we stopped in Hattiesburg for lunch at Baker's Burgers ~ SO, so yummy and cheap!



We stayed on schedule until Mobile, when we hit some horrible traffic. All the way from Mobile to our condo in Orange Beach, we averaged about 5 mph. Thank goodness for the iPod Touch! At this point we had been in the car for about 11 hours, with only one major stop, and the kids were still doing great.




Almost there!




Because of the awful traffic, we didn't get to our condo until almost 7 pm. I needed to order dinner (Lillian's Pizza ~ super yum!) and get things unpacked and ready for bed, so I stayed in the condo with Wyatt while Davis took the big kids to the beach. Poor Wyatt!




I made myself unpack everything and put things away and then go grocery shopping for the full week that night, even though I was exhausted. I'm SO glad I did, because the next morning we woke up to perfect weather and all headed straight to the beach!




Oh happy, happy day!




Sophia ~ always doing cartwheels!




The kids had so much fun catching those tiny silver fish




My friend Gretchan gave me the great idea to bring a little baby pool, which ended up being perfect for Wyatt! The big kids brought buckets of ocean water and some sand to fill it up, and most of the week, Wyatt was perfectly happy just sitting and splashing in the pool.




The outdoor showers at the condo were a lifesaver ~ we were covered in sand!




We also had a great pool at the condo, which had COLD water ~ it felt SO great on days that it was a little hot!






One of my absolutely favorite things about vacation are lazy mornings. I would wake up and kids would come crawling into bed with me, and none of us were in any hurry to get up.



One day I even laid in bed and read my Southern Living magazine ~ in bed! In the morning!




Probably my very favorite thing about this week, was that I got to spend some really special one-on-one time with each of the kids. That is one thing that is hard to come by with me working, the big kids in school and different activities, and just having four kids. The times we spent together this week will be special memories we can hang onto when things get hectic. Amelia and I went on a walk at sunset one night ~ it was magical!




I LOVED having a washer and dryer in the condo. I didn't feel the need to bring a million clothes, we were able to cloth diaper, and I also didn't come home with a ton of dirty laundry. Here are all the swimsuits hanging up to dry!



Ah beach reading ~ I had a lot to catch up on! One night after the kids went to bed, I laid in the jacuzzi tub and read a book cover to cover. Wow!



We met some very special friends for breakfast one morning, and they were sweet enough to get a family picture of us ~ that is a rare thing!



And then we headed up to Foley to see the trains. Henry was in Heaven!



I said, "Henry are you happy?" And as I took this picture, he was saying "YES! I'm ridin' the train!"


 

The model train exhibit was amazing!! That's a drive in movie theater in the back, which actually played a movie!



I'm framing this picture and hanging it in Henry's room. That boy loves trains!



One night I made milkshakes. They made Amelia so happy, she took a picture (that is an old camera of mine, and I let the girls use it on the trip ~ I can't wait to download their vacation pictures and look at them!)



It stormed on night, and Davis and I sat on the balcony and watched the thunderstorm over the ocean. I love watching storms!



We loaded the kids up with hearty breakfasts every morning, and then usually ate a pretty light lunch. Bacon and eggs!



Beach ball! I love this picture ~ it looks posed, but it's totally not. I just looked up and the girls were tossing a beach ball.



It was raining one afternoon, so we loaded the kids up and drove over to Pensacola to the Naval Aviation Museum ~ Henry loved it, of course (the rest of us were pretty impressed too!)



Pilot and copilot :)



Babies are fun to pose ha!




Here are the kids in President Nixon's Marine One helicopter







This was Henry's face almost the whole time



More lazy mornings



The kids eating ice cream and watching dolphins from our balcony




Group pictures ~ SO hard with four!!




It rained for an hour or so another day, and the girls played Chutes and Ladders




Headed to the pool!

 

Another special moment ~ going on a beach walk with Henry. We actually went on a walk one morning at 6 a.m. while everyone else slept in, and then again another day to collect "treasures"









What a view from my bed!



With a cute baby



who just so happens to be the. happiest. baby. ever.



Amelia the fish ~ that girl sure loved the water! She let waves crash down on her and just laughed to do it again, and she could have spent every waking minute at the pool.




Our last evening, we got a bunch of different seafood ~ different kinds of shrimp, crab legs, etc. ~ so yummy!



And then the girls and I went on one last beach walk




Davis had taken Sophia on a late night walk to look for crabs another night, and just as I suspected, they freaked Amelia out



She said, "they freak me out, but I like those crab legs we had for dinner tonight!" Ha!!

And all snuggled up ~ everyone slept GREAT at the beach!



It was truly a dreamy, relaxing, wonderful week. I loved that it was just our family and that we had no obligations or plans. Our condo was right on the beach, so it was easy to go back and forth ~ I could even call down to let them know dinner was ready and they could hear me on the beach, and Sophia could go back and forth alone. It was also REALLY nice to have enough room for the girls to have their own room, Henry had a room, and our master closet was so big that we set up a little nursery in there for Wyatt. The master bathroom was as big as our bedroom at home! Having enough space was nice, because often traveling with four kids no one sleeps well when we are all on top of each other. I wouldn't change a thing!