Sophia had an appointment with the pediatric dermatologist today, just to check her and make sure nothing looks suspicious. After he looked her over, I asked to speak to him away from Sophia, so we could talk about some of my concerns. My father in law has had melanoma twice, and both times the melanoma grew rather large beneath the surface before becoming visible on the skin. I asked her doctor whether there was any way to detect it (such as a PET scan), when it grows beneath the surface like that. He confirmed that those melanocytes (click here for explanation) are beneath her skin as well, and have the potential to turn into melanoma. He also said there's not much we can do, and not a good way to detect melanoma early when it manifests like that.
Surprisingly, I wasn't much more concerned than before our visit. He confirmed something I already suspected, but more than anything reminded me of something I learned when we first embarked on this journey...
We just don't know what tomorrow holds. We can't cling to statistics or obsess over numbers (number of satellite lesions, number of people who survive five years with melanoma, number of years we may have...) We have no guarantees about the future. What is absolutely given to us every single day, completely, is TODAY. There are no strings attached, there is nothing we have to do to earn it, it is here and it is ours. The decision about what to make of it belongs to us as well. I may struggle some days to trust completely in the Lord, I may struggle some days not to worry about what might lie ahead, I might struggle to let go of my plans (believe me, I am so struggling with these things lately)... but I cannot deny that right now I have what I have. I cannot doubt that in this moment, I am immensely blessed.
Today I choose to be thankful for Today. Today I chose to cherish Today. Today I chose to embrace Today. Today I chose to live in Today.
Guess who already knows all this?
2 comments:
I am glad that the physician didn't have anything to really report and I'm glad you guys are all living for today.
Vera,
You are wise to live in the present! I've BTDT many times - why is it so easy to look ahead and fret and worry? It never helps (in fact always makes things worse) and doesn't solve anything!
I wanted you to know that I've been praying for you regarding becoming foster parents. Sounds exciting. I know that God will lead the way. :) Thank you so much for praying for me. It means so much to me to have my friends praying. I'm excited to see what God has in store for me and my ministry.
Have a blessed and peaceful Sunday.
Love,
Lynnette
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