Good Morning

Amazing what one night can do - one night of praying and having my friends pray for me, one night to remember everything I believe in...

Right now I am pregnant - praise God for this miracle! Right now, I have this tiny precious baby inside of me, and I am going love him or her as much as I possibly can!

The girls and I are going to Dallas tomorrow (Sophia has an appointment with her surgeon tomorrow afternoon, just to talk about where we go from here), and we're staying at my friend Kristy's awesome house, which has a giant pool, with some other friends and their kids, for four days. I've been looking forward to this trip for months! I haven't seen these friends in a while, and a four day pool party will be so fun, and I get to do all the cooking (yes, I'm really excited about this - I love cooking for crowds, and Kristy's kitchen is about ten times the size of mine!) and we're going to a big party on the 4th and then going to Kristy's church on Sunday (I love visiting other churches!) Yesterday I was so sad that my trip would be ruined, because I would be so anxious and then on Thursday afternoon I would find out the fate of my baby, for whom I have prayed for so long...

But then I remembered that God answered my prayers - when doctors were telling me I wasn't likely to get pregnant again, I did. So surely that same God could do something as simple as change my attitude - surely He could help me find a peace that would allow me to enjoy this much-anticipated trip. So that's what I prayed for last night, and from your emails and comments and tweets and phone conversations (thank you!) I know what many of you prayed for the same thing. And today I am once again excited about our little mini vacation!

There is nothing more I can do for this baby - I am on prenatal vitamins, extra folic acid, baby aspirin, progesterone supplements, and eating/drinking as healthfully as I can. So I will trust in the Lord and and also remember that stress and anxiety aren't good for this baby either.

Dallas - here we come :) Tomorrow we'll be on the road and at the doctor all day, but then Thursday I'll have repeat lab work done and hopefully will find out the results that afternoon (since my doctor's office is closed on Friday). Please help me pray for good news, and peace regardless of the outcome. I will have my laptop with me, so I'll be able to update - with lab results and pool party pics! - on Thursday!

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 14:27

I Covet Your Prayers

Lab work this morning came back looking very much like my last miscarriage... won't know anything for sure until Thursday, but I am having a hard time keeping my chin up.  Am on progesterone supplements and lots of praying until then.  Thank you, my dear friends, for your prayers!

And now, Lord, for what do I wait?
My hope is in You.
Psalm 39:7

Not Me Monday

Check out MckMama's blog for everyone's Monday confessional. Here's mine...

I did not fret all day yesterday about how I would tell my husband that I was pregnant... I did not finally decide to just leave the digital test (I am smart enough to know that the two lines would have confused him) laying on the bathroom counter, only to have him totally be oblivious to it for a couple of hours. The kids and I did not all try many times to get him to go into the bathroom (Sophia even got him to kill a little bug ON THE SAME COUNTER! without him noticing!) I did not finally lose all patience, and at my friend Karla's suggestion put the test on the computer keyboard, where he would be sure to see it. When he still hadn't said anything an hour later AND the test was missing, we did not have the following conversation...

Me: hey, uh, what'd you do with that pregnancy test?

Him: What pregnancy test?

Me: the one on the keyboard!

Him: Oh, I threw it out. [this says nothing about how many stray pregnancy tests are laying around our house at any given time]

Me: did you look at it?!

Him: [still completely clueless] um, no.

Me: [stunned, speechless] uh.... well.... um.... [under my breath] maybe you should get it...

Him: what did you say?

Me: [completely flustered] I'm PREGNANT!!!!!!

This did not remind me of the time that I planned to suprise this same husband with news of Sophia's pregnancy. The time that he was across town with his brother for the whole day, and I ever so casually said "hey, Honey, want to come home for lunch?" To which he replied "why, are you pregnant?" ruining any chance of me suprising him.

It did not also remind me of the time that I planned to break the news of Amelia's pregnancy to him by putting a Big Sister t-shirt on Sophia. That did not end in this conversation

Me: [many hours after putting the shirt on her] have you noticed Sophia's shirt?

Him: no...

Me: oh, well check it out!

Him: hm, that's cute.

Me: READ IT!!

Him: [staring, confused] why... huh? she's not a big sister...

Me: Uh.... [speechless] well.... she's GOING TO BE!

Him: [staring, confused] Oh!!!!!! Are you PREGNANT?!

Me: YES!

I did not decide in hindsight that I should have just written I'M PREGNANT on a baseball bat and hit him over the head with it. Oh no, there's NO WAY a thought like that would even cross my mind.

This Is God

I've posted bits and pieces of our journey to have another baby... but basically I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary disease before Sophia was conceived and needed some medications to get pregnant with the girls, but it wasn't that hard.

Then for some reason unknown to everyone but God, we have been unable to have another. We started trying last January, and it's just been a hard fifteen months. I've had three miscarriages (one before Sophia was born, two last year). We've had every test under the sun done, and started down the path of figuring out what level of intervention we'd be willing to try.

I always wanted a March baby, but we weren't that great in our timing with the girls - of course we were totally thrilled regardless of their birthdates! It's just that no one in our families has a March birthday, and it just seemed like such a great month to give birth (not too hot, not too cold around here). Last June, I was on Clomid and I got unreasonably upset when I didn't get pregnant that month... I was pretty sure that was the end of my March baby dreams.

Then this morning

I am blown away. First of all, every positive pregnancy test I've gotten has happened on a Sunday, regardless of how far along I was. I took a test yesterday, and it was still negative. I have always been compulsive about testing way too often, so the whole Sunday thing was not planned by me. How awesome is that?!

Then there's the MARCH due date!

Then... there's the fact that this was probably the LEAST trying-est month for us. I went off my medications, just because I needed a break. My husband had that lawnmower accident and lost part of his finger earlier this month - he's been in pain and on pain killers - and I've been travelling a lot, so... well, it just wasn't a month I would have counted on catching an egg, even if I thought there was a chance of me ovulating at all.

I am totally committed to being excited and enjoying every minute of this pregnancy, because this will most likely be our last. I don't want to wait to tell anyone (and I'm not, except work). I don't want to live in fear that this baby won't make it. I want to feel this joy, and above all else PRAISE GOD, Who had this all figured out all along!!!!

Friends, would you pray with me, please? Would you praise Him for me? Would you pray that sometime around the middle of March next year, I'll be introducing you to a new little baby? Would you pray for my friends, and so many others out there, who are still struggling to get pregnant?

Summer Days

They're just the best... the kind of summer days that start with no plans at all, and end up full of adventures!

This morning we went swimming, then after nap time we went to the Asian Festival at Mosaic Church

and then we came home just in time to run around in a rain shower (well, they ran around, I mostly sat on the front porch taking pictures)

"hey Mom, this branch isn't really keeping me dry!"

I'm Just a Little Girl From Little Rock

Please do me a favor... scroll aaaaaall the way down to the bottom of my blog and play this song.

I mostly grew up here, in Tuebingen, Germany.



My family is mostly from Linz, Austria, and surrounding areas, where I spent much of my childhood.



When I was ten, we moved to Big Sur, California, where I spent most of my pre-teen and many of my teen years. My mother and brother still live there, and we visit often.



I travelled to twenty-nine of our states and almost all European countries. I lived in Colorado for a year.

And then...I found my home.

I have spent most of the past couple of weeks on the road, travelling to remote parts of Arkansas, and I have fallen in love with this state all over again. I am so sad that I didn't bring my camera along, as I crossed the White River at 7:00 am one morning to see it covered completely in a white fog, surrounded by dark green kudzu-covered forests. I'm sad that I didn't have a camera to photograph one my very favorite old barns, that used to take my breath away every time I passed it travelling between my college town of Fayetteville and my in-law's farm.

I'm kicking myself for not taking my camera along, so my plan in the next few months is to take a few more drives - specifically with my camera. Last year, we got it our heads that we were going to move out into the country, and while driving around looking at land - we discovered this beautiful property (which was not for sale, and probably never will be).











Hey, if you're the owner of this property (chances are you don't have internet access, because it's reeeeally out there, but...) give me call, okay?

I love the people here. I love the natural beauty, especially the lakes and rivers, of my state. I love those Razorbacks - even the toothless ones.



I love to visit those other places where I have lived - places with wonderful memories, family, beautiful photographs. And then, I love to come home.

Sophia and Her Company Girl

I'm going to try posting from my phone...we'll see how it goes. I entered a picture of Sophia and her best friend into this photo contest to be in a book about friendship. Would you check it out and vote for her, please? There are TONS of really awesome and sweet pics - you can vote for up to three a day!

Vote by clicking on the star below the picture. Sophia's is #193 at http://companygirl.com/page/6/

Thanks!

I Will Be Out of the Office...

If you tried to send me an email at work these past few weeks, you would think I was never in. I've had my trusty Out of Office Assistant deployed almost non-stop.

I'm travelling to clinics all over Arkansas - last week I was in north central Arkansas, and today I am in Northwest Arkansas (yay for getting to meet up with friends there!!) for three days.

This weekend was crazy - aside from painting the girls' rooms, I scrubbed the insides of our kitchen cabinets, and ran all the dishes through the dishwasher. That's five cabinets about the size of this one (plus that empty space in the lower left corner was filled to the top with plates right after I took this picture)

but it felt SO good!

Have a great week everyone!! I'm going to be SO happy to be HOME for a few days at the end of the week (before heading out again next week).

Cherries Jubilee

That's the name of this Sherwin-Williams color, which makes me very happy

Sophia has been begging for months for a pink room (previously this room was a lovely shade of white called A Glass of Milk)

So yesterday, between glasses of homemade lemonade,

I decided to go ahead and paint it.

The girls love it.

And I do too.

Carrots Are Orange and I Am Too

Remember about the self-tanner? You wanna know why the picture of me in this post is black and white? Well... I'm orange

But, this post isn't about that, this is an actual Veggie of the Week post (two weeks in a row! yay for me!) about carrots. If I were to make a list of the things that I buy at the grocery store every single week no matter what, I think the only two things on that list would be milk and baby carrots.

I buy a bag of baby carrots every week. My kids love to grab some for a snack, and I cook with them too. I chop them up small and sneak them into spaghetti sauce or onto salads. I throw them into crock pot stews and soups just as they are. And sometimes I make them into a side dish all their own by putting some in a pot, just covering them with chicken stock, and adding some brown sugar, then cooking them until they are barely soft. They are my all-purpose veggie, and when I look at my kids' lunches and see chicken nuggets and string cheese and crackers, I just throw a handful of baby carrots on their plate and feel better about it.

Do I even need to tell you why carrots are good? Aside from the yummy, crunchy goodness of their flavor, they are of course so healthy. Sophia can't eat a carrot without saying "I'm helping my eyes be healthy!" Carrots are full of vitamins and minerals, especially Vitamins A, B and C. Here's a picture of beta carotene under the microscope - isn't it beautiful?!

Fireflies

We spent the past couple of days at my in-laws' farm (I had some work to do in the area - very rural north central Arkansas). It was lot of driving for me, but evenings on the farm were lovely. I got some video of fireflies for my friend Karla, who has never seen a firefly!

This first one has a lovely soundtrack - bullfrogs and a whippoorwill.

And this one has my mother in law as a soundtrack, but features two "hor-says" (as Amelia calls them).

Okay... now I'm really curious, where do you live and do you have fireflies where you are? Apparently Florida and Southern California do not.

Outsourcing

So, I've been thinking lately about the parenting duties that most of my friends outsource...

My husband and I decided when we first got pregnant, that we would sacrifice whatever had to to keep our children home with us rather than putting them into daycare. For us that meant that after Sophia's first year of life, I went to work while my husband stayed home with them (we did have a part time nanny for a little while to help out and then put both the girls in our church's Mother's Day Out two mornings a week after they turned 2). It's one thing we absolutely will never regret doing! We may live in a smaller house, I may be the last person on earth not to own an iPhone, the last time I got a diamond was 9 years ago when I got engaged... but boy, these days of having babies at home are so numbered, I wouldn't trade them for all the diamonds in the world!

But there are smaller things I've resisted the urge to outsource... like baking the kids' birthday cakes, which are never perfect. We have their parties at home (or the playground) and will continue to until they insist otherwise, which means I do the invitations and decorations and clean up. Again, none of it is anywhere near perfect, but it's our party and I love it. It's a lot of work sometimes, but again, these days are limited - in a few years they'll have to have the jump zone party, and then they'll have parties to which I'm not even invited...

I've been stressed out lately about enrolling the girls in swim lessons (the money, the commitment to get them there, etc.) when I made the bold decision to teach my own kids to swim, just like my parents (and girl in Italy with whom I couldn't communicate verbally, because I spoke no Italian and she spoke no German) taught me to swim.

I cut my kids' hair. See?

I've had professional pictures of my kids taken a sum total of one times (and I loooove those pictures more than just about anything in the world and if I could kidnap my friend Allison and make her follow my family around taking all of our pictures, I totally would!) I'm pretty cool with the fact that we have an insane number of candid pictures taken by me. Those are our family pictures. And yes, that means any pictures of my kids and me (in the same shot!) have to be taken with the self-timer set and the camera sitting on the couch arm

Some of these decisions have been because of money, but mostly they're just my determination to parent these babies as much as I possibly can while I can. I think it's easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing - I can't tell you how many times I thought oh my gosh I have GOT to get them into swim lessons or wondered whether my kids would feel like they had some sort of sad deprived childhood because I didn't shell out $100 for their second birthday invitations or because I don't spend $500 a year on portraits. But I'm pretty sure they won't.

God and Science

I've never really understood the conflict between science and religion... never have I felt more certain of the existence of God than when I was studying science.



I've mentioned before that I have a degree in microbiology... Perhaps I am strange, but my science education did nothing but strengthen my faith. I was humbled by physics. I was spell-bound by microbial genetics. I remember as biology and chemistry became one in biochemistry. I remember disecting far into the depths of the human brain and marveling at this machine that is our bodies. Trying to wrap my little brain around the vastness of the universe and the intricacies of the most minute of microorganisms, I would feel this overwhelming awe at the perfection of it all.



No one but our God could create such complex systems, such beautiful harmonies, such amazing machinery. No artist can create such beauty (are you seeing these pictures?! they are all microscopic images of things found in nature!)



Learning about the memory and evolution and adaptation of our immune systems, I specifically remember smiling - God is great. God is so much greater than we can even imagine.



Learning about science was like delving into deep waters, then being pulled out and realizing that I had seen only the top layer of a vast ocean. But not in a frightening way - in fact, the perfection with which God created the universe was proof to me of His sovereignty.



Can you look at these pictures and not believe in God?

If you're a geek like me, go here for hundreds of awesome images like those above... including things like french fries and mint juleps under the microscope!

Not Me Monday

Wanna know you're not the only one who looks the other way when the dog starts clearing the table for you? Check out MckMama's blog for everyone's Monday confessional. Here's mine...

I did not lose the ability to order Netflix movies because we lost The Bee Movie last year. So Friday night, I did not head to Blockbuster only to find out that in the six years since we rented a movie there, we'd lost our membership (sheesh! it's only been four years!) and I didn't have my driver's license with me to renew it. I did not then end up wandering over to the fabric store next door and make myself feel better by buying fabric I didn't need.

I did not, while swimming with the kids on Saturday look around and make sure I could find at least three women there who weighed more than me. Gosh, that would have been a HORRID thing to do!!

I did not, after lecturing everyone on sunscreen like I always do, manage to get a sunburn on my shoulders Saturday. I did not try to make it look less obvious by applying self-tanner on the rest of my body, which did not just turn me into a giant carrot.

My husband and I did not spend our entire Sunday morning in our pajamas laying in bed, watching The History Channel, snuggling and playing with our kids, and when we had a few minutes alone, making out. And by all morning I mean literally until noon. Nope, I'm sure we got dressed and went to church and took care of our house and our children.

I did not find out that three friends are pregnant and go to an appointment at my OB's only to get a room right next to the ultrasound room, where I could hear actual baby heartbeats and a mom squealing with delight at finding out her first baby is a girl and want to hurl myself out the window. When my doctor came in and started talking about the possibility of early menopause I did not, again, longingly look at the seventh floor window.

I did not skip kickboxing every single day last week for really awesome reasons like "I couldn't get out of bed."

Swimmingly Saturday

I was SO super duper overly excited to go swimming with the kids yesterday!! Because of the timing of Sophia's surgeries last summer, we have not gone swimming in two years! We skipped a whole summer of swimming last year, so we have lots of catching up to do.

Do you know that look? The clapping? The jumping up and down? It's the mom can we skip this picnic lunch thing and go swimming now look.

As I expected, Amelia jumped right into the deep end and Sophia was a little more timid, but after a while they were both having a blast.

Isn't she the absolute cutest?! This is my friend's daughter - aaah she's so sweet!!

Afterwards we got ice cream at Shakey's. Yum! If you live in Arkansas, order a Yellow Submarine from there - it's the best! Banana and pineapple in yanilla custard. Also, if you take your dog, they'll make a little doggy bowl by smearing a little vanilla custard in a bowl - Shadow, rest her sweet little soul, used to love trips to Shakey's in Fayetteville when we were in college. The only reason I broke my no-ice-cream-in-the-car rule, is that I need to wash their car seat covers anyway. Oh and because I really wanted some Shakey's. (BTW these pics were taken in my driveway, not while I was driving ha!)

Oh and check out Lynnette's photo challenge... I'm way behind on this, but we were supposed to post a picture of someone in our house making such a goofy face that we weren't going to post it. Here's Sophia's post-ice cream goofiness

I made Porter a new bed last night... I feel bad, he outgrew his last one months ago. He liked the bed; he did not like the photo session. You can't tell in the pictures, but the fabric is a really lovely fine-wale corduroy in burnt orange - it was originally $17 a yard, and I got it on sale - a yard and a half for $4!

Reflections

I'm a crazy sentimental person, and I keep random things - like the In Style magazine I was reading when Sophia was born (I figure she might want to see one day how crazy fashions were in 2005).

So on her birthday, Sophia looked through her box of keepsakes (if you call In Style a keepsake) and reflected on her life so far

And I found one of my favorite of Sophia's doodles

Dating

I was going to avoid any more reeeeeeeally long word-heavy (picture poor) posts for a while, and this one has been sitting in my draft folder for a while... but I have a feeling it might be timely for someone out there so here it goes...

I don't really know a lot about being married, and eight years really isn't that long... but I do know that having young children, especially during stressful times (like, oh, being pregnant and taking the bar exam four days before your child has major surgery) can put a strain on your relationship. And I have just one piece of advice there: have a date night every month.

I remember the first date Davis and I went on after Amelia's birth. We hadn't really spent alone time together that year before, just because things were so busy and our focus was so much on Sophia and her surgeries. We were also broke from the trips to Texas, and I was pregnant and couldn't drink (so that hardly makes getting a sitter worth it ha!)

Anyway, so we went to a restaurant (Doe's - yum!) We sat down and ordered beer and steaks and potatoes. We had the conversation that we always had when we sat down for dinner at home (you know, what are we doing this weekend, did you pay the electric bill, how many times did Amelia poop that day...) and after fifteen minutes we were done. At home, 15 minutes is the end of dinner - that's when Sophia would start climbing out of her high chair and Amelia would start crying to be nursed and we would be shoveling the last of our food into our mouths while clearing the table and feeding the dogs and starting the bath water.

Well, at Doe's, not only was fifteen minutes not the end of dinner... our food hadn't even arrived! So we sat there, and we looked at each other, and we stared at the walls, and we started peeling the labels off our beer, and we both though what on earth did we ever used to talk about?!

If you had been sitting there at Doe's that night, and you had seen us, you would have felt really awkward - like you were watching some horrible first date between two people who had absolutely nothing in common. We kind of felt that way. We were both thinking I think maybe we should head home to check on the kids.

But we went downtown and had a few drinks and then took a long walk along the river, and slowly we started remembering what we used to talk about. We started remembering the things we had in common that had nothing to do with dirty diapers. We started reconnecting and laughing and just being together. I'll leave off the rest of what happened on that walk. But I will tell you that at the end of that date we were thinking we have to start going out more often!

Since then, we have tried really hard to have a date night every month. Occasionally we can't find a sitter and have a movie and popcorn date on the couch. When we're extra broke we might just pay a sitter and then go get some pizza and take a walk rather than a fancy dinner or a movie (when did movies become a really expensive date?!)

This month we're actually exchanging babysitting with some good friends of ours - one night I'm going to their house to babysit their kids while they go out, and then my friend is coming over to babysit our kids while Davis and I go out. Free babysitting!

It's hard sometimes, when I work all day, to give up time in the evenings with my girls. But I think it's important for them to see us taking the time to be together and making our marriage a priority. It's so interesting too, that I can notice a difference in our marriage - when we've gone too many weeks without a date, we are more snippy with each other and there are more misunderstandings, and we're generally not as happy together as when we make that time to be together. It's so worth it.



I love how date photos are always dorky and bad... my goal for our next date: get a decent picture of the two of us together!

Abelmoschus Esculentus

That, my friends, is okra.

Would you believe that I had never even heard of okra until I moved to the South? The first few times I tried to make it, I decided I didn't like it... but then I cooked it too long one day and fell in love. You see, okra contains this slimy stuff (the science of this post stopped after I typed the title), which is what makes it a popular ingredient in gumbos - the sticky stuff helps to thicken the stew. But I don't particularly love the slimy stuff, so the way I cook fresh or frozen okra is to pan fry it in a little bit of butter until all the slime is gone.

The edges are brown, no more distracting slime, and it actually tastes oh so yummy!

Okra is also good for you... it's very high in dietary fiber and contains lots of vitamin B6 and folate.

I tried to grow some once, but I discovered snails really like those baby okra plants. So now I usually stock up on okra at the farmer's marked and then freeze it. Or I just buy it frozen. It's one of my staple side dishes - I just grab a few handfuls and throw them straight from the freezer into the frying pan. With a little salt on top, it's a great side dish all on its own.

Totally Random Breastfeeding Post

It's been over a year since I've nursed a baby. There's no particular reason I'm posting this, except I feel like it :) Of my blog readers that I know of, none only a few of you are currently breastfeeding or contemplating breastfeeding in the near future. Sorry.

One of the greatest things about breastfeeding is that you don't have to have any stuff - you know, bottles and formula and formula holders and all that. But there's some stuff that's really great to have anyway. And if you're pumping you will need some things. With Sophia I had the luxury of never having to pump, although I did just to have some milk on hand for the babysitter or whatever. With Amelia, I went back to work full time (+) when she was seven weeks old and pumped until she was ten months old. After that she got formula during the day and I nursed her at night and that worked out just fine too.



Being a working mom and breastfeeding is hard, but it's totally doable, and I wanted to post this for anyone out there who might need advice or encouragement, or who might be thinking I wonder how I can blow a few hundred bucks on breastfeeding supplies.

So first of all, breast pumps. I had the Medela Pump In Style Advanced. When Amelia was in the hospital, I used the hospital-grade Medela, and I can tell you that the PIS Advanced is the exact same thing! The motor works the same way and I got the same results. Awesome pump. I also had this single pump. It was nice sometimes when I would nurse on one side and then pump on the other. I used it when we travelled - on one road trip I sat in the back of the truck with this pump plugged into the cigarettte lighter, pumping, and then giving Sophia the milk in her car seat so we didn't have to stop... at just four months old she totally gave me a what on earth are you doing?! look. I know she thought I was crazy.

This, of course, is the first thing you have to have if you're pumping.

Number two is the Easy Expressions Bustier.

Seriously, I totally refused to pump without it! This allows you to look at magazines, surf the internet, change the channel on the TV, etc. while you're pumping. Aside from just being nice, I noticed that my milk production was way better when I was wearing it, because I was able to relax. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but I joke that sitting there holding bottles and staring at them waiting for your milk to let down is like trying really hard to concentrate on having an orgasm - it doesn't work! The pump-holder thingy (that's what I called it) let me shop for baby clothes online or catch up on email, which in turn increased my milk output and made pumping not as boring.

The worst part of pumping for me was washing all of the equipment and bottles! So I had lots of spare breast shields and valves and stuff. I found that they were cheapest at Kidsurplus.com. I had at least enough so that I didn't have to wash supplies at work. So when I was pumping three times a day, I had three sets of everything that I took to work with me. I had these wipes that I would use to wipe down everything during the day after I pumped. Then at home I would wash everything in hot soapy water and then sterilize with these in the microwave.

Also, if pumping is painful, you might need bigger breastshields or the soft kind - Medela makes different ones that all fit their pumps.

This converter was cool - I used it to pump directly into the Avent bottles that we used. That was for the milk that I pumped and just kept in the fridge for shorter periods of time.

Most of the milk I pumped went into the freezer. These are the best freezer bags - I never had a single one leak or spill. I would lay them flat in the freezer until they were frozen solid, then they would take up very little real estate in the freezer. I only froze 2 ounces per bag, so that none went to waste. If you run hot (not super hot, just warm/hot) water over the frozen bag, it only takes a minute or so to thaw the milk.

If you know you're going to be pumping, I would recommend taking advantage of those first few weeks when your body is making too much milk to build up your freezer stash. I had to have surgery when Amelia was four weeks old, and for 24 hours after the anesthesia I had to pump and dump my milk (that sucked - every time I pumped I would make Davis dump it out while I cried ha ha!). We went through a HUGE freezer stash in that 24 hours - it's amazing how fast it can get depleted.

By the way, that reminds me, don't overdo this. Although it was awesome to have a huge freezer stash at four weeks, it was kind of ridiculous. You see, when Amelia spent five days in the hospital, she was also under bili lights and I wasn't allowed to hold her. So there was nothing for me to do in that hospital room except pump and wash bottles. So I pumped. And the nurses would come whisk my milk away and stick it in the freezer. And would pump some more. And I never knew how much I was actually accumulating. Well, when we left the hospital they brought me a GIANT black trash bag FULL of my frozen milk! Ha ha! This was great, but the problem was when we got home... apparently my breasts thought that I had given birth to quadruplets, and they were making waaay too much milk. I didn't want to pump every thirty minutes when I got home, and I was SORE. I used cabbage leaves to decrease my milk supply - I would stick cold, washed cabbage leaves that I kept in the fridge into my bra until they wilted and then replaced them. It worked great, although Davis had a field day with the "salad in my bra" thing.

Oh and speaking of too much milk, these were my favorite nursing pads. I leaked a LOT with Sophia (and hardly at all with Amelia) and these were the only ones that never leaked and were not visible (let's just say I worked at a large almost all-male law firm and it was for the best) For those first few painful days of breastfeeding, and also one time when Sophia bit me, these were heavenly - they're expensive but last several days (long enough for my bite to heal).

Okay this is getting long, and I'm sure I'll blog about this again. I really miss breastfeeding (after three years of non-stop breastfeeding I totally thought I would never say that!!) I'll leave you with some good resources...

Kellymom.com is a good place to get answers to lots of questions.

I loved this book. It was funny and informative, and a good read while I was pregnant.

I would also recommend that you get the phone number of the lactation consultant at your hospital - they are great to call if you have questions or problems after you're discharged. I called mine months later about something, and they were more than happy to help out.

Also, if you have a question about whether you can take a certain drug while breastfeeding, you can call your poison control center, and they will be able to tell you.

Finally, as I've blogged about before, I feel strongly about encouraging breastfeeding moms without making them feel guilty or being pushy... so you can always email me or comment if you have a question or just need someone to talk to!

Bee Hive Cake, Part II

This is a lot of pressure - a two-part post, ha! Really, I'm kind of sick of the whole bee/cake thing... but I keep my promises (well, except this one), so here it is - the decorating part :)

Oh wait, I have to tell you something else first... you'll see in these pictures, and my Not Me Monday picture, that I have a tiny kitchen and that when I make a three-layer cake AND twenty giant stackable cookies (with 160 pedals on them and four different colors of royal icing) it is a WRECK. Just a warning. It took me two nights to clean it up, and I got major help from my sweet husband. And we never leave a kitchen mess overnight - this was just too much for us and our poor dishwasher to handle!

SO, here's how I decorated the cake and made a huge mess...

First, I leveled the cakes. I don't have a fancy turntable, so I just put my glass cake stand on some parchment paper (I ♥ parchement paper) and turned it while using a sawing motion with a large serrated knife to level off the cakes. I used the most level cake as the bottom layer.

Then I stacked the cakes and used buttercream (recipe here) between the layers.

Then I carved the cake into a rough bee hive shape. I think I could have done a better job of this, but oh well - as the Nester says, it doesn't have to be perfect... Anyway, I used a pound cake, because they're nice and dense and easy to carve.

Oh, I'm TOTALLY going to make more cakes that have to be carved, because you know what's awesome about carving a cake? See all that "wasted" cake that I cut off? Well, let's just say I helped it not go to waste.

Then I crumb-coated the cake. This is a really important step - don't skip it when you're icing a cake! Just cover the whole cake in a layer of icing to "catch" all the crumbs, that way you won't end up with any in your final coat.

I used buttercream with yellow paste food coloring to frost the whole cake. I didn't really want a perfectly smooth finish, and I wanted to add some pattern but was too lazy to try anything too fancy at this point (about 2 am) so I pressed a paper towel with a diamond pattern onto the cake, and it left an impression. It kinda worked like I wanted it to.

I was also too lazy/tired to make nice flowers (I love making icing flowers, but it takes patience and concentration - I'm not the Cake Boss!) So I used some of that royal icing from the cookies to make round blobs and long blobs (also, again, far from perfect) onto parchment paper (I ♥ parchment paper).

After they dried, I picked the most pedal-y looking blobs and stuck them on the cake to make flowers.

And here is my finished product

Sophia loved it, which was the most important thing to me! Well, that and having really yummy cake to eat ha ha! We'll just call this It Doesn't Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful, Cake Edition :)

p.s.
Did you think I forgot Veggie of the Week? Well, I did... but then I remembered - tomorrow, I promise!