Peace

Last week I was so stressed out about that whole board thing, I just couldn't find a moment of peace - I was waking up in the middle of the night thinking about it, it was disrupting me at work, I couldn't even play with the girls without it weighing me down. Our organization is dying, the board members have been fighting, we were losing our focus - the kids we were supposed to be serving. It was my job as president to restore order, and I was too worn out and distracted to even think about how I would do it.

We had a long, sometimes painful, executive committee meeting Sunday night. But we made it to the other end - we realized that we had to stop focusing on scraping by, and find someone to take us over so that our clients could continue to be served. I joined this board only a year ago, and three months later, our sponsor (who provided us with $17,000 a month) just dropped us from one month to the next, with no warning, because of their own financial problems. It was devastating, and we've slowly been burning through the organization's assets trying to survive. Sunday night the treasurer made it clear, we can no longer survive. We have to start going into closing mode. It was heart-breaking. But as soon as we came to grips with it, as soon as we let go, our focus returned. We realized that all that mattered was our clients - we had to find a way to continue to serve these kids.

So at the general board meeting on Monday, I started off by showing a video from our grief camp last month - testimonials from children and their families about what we have done for them during this dark time. I challenged the board to not lose their focus on these kids, no matter what came next. Then I had to break the news about where we were headed. There are a few organizations in our state who could take us over, with various degrees of keeping our current organization in tact. That's the next step for us, hopefully.

The most amazing thing happened... Peace. Everyone in that room knew that it would be okay, as long as we made every decision based on the best interests of the kids. We have several meetings set up with the heads of these other organizations over the next couple of months. In the meantime we will move forward with a six-month closing plan. There was not a single squabble, no tension. It was one of the most difficult meetings I've been to, but despite the sadness of the situation, we all left feeling renewed in our commitment.

My prayers were answered. I was able to find peace, and to bring it with me into that board room. Since then, I have slept (despite a WEIRD dream last night that there were giant tortoises in my attic?). I have been able to focus at work. And most importantly, I've been able to play baby dolls without thinking about anything other than which baby needed a diaper next.

If you are feeling stressed out, if you are frazzled, if you can't even find the peace to come up with a decent prayer, try what I did on Saturday - find a single moment of feeling gratitude, and let it fill you up. Let your heart swell with thankfulness. It's like opening a door for the Holy Spirit, Who will renew your soul with peace.