Hiatus

I have had so many blog entries stir around in my head these past six months, but haven't been able to bring myself to post. I wanted this blog to be about thankfulness. I am sad to say that I didn't feel very thankful after my second miscarriage in August. In fact, I've felt pretty lost, and didn't think I had anything useful to share with the world.

A word that kept popping into my head when I decided last week to start blogging again (more on that next post) is HIATUS. I knew it meant something like a "break" - like the one I've been taking from blogging - but I decided to look it up anyway. I looked it up in my dictionary (I know, it's terribly old fashioned of me, but I still have a Websters next to my desk). It says

Hiatus: n. a gap or break, as where a part is missing

And yes, that's what I've been going through these past six months... there has been a gap, and something has been missing. I've felt the kind of test of my faith that I have never before felt, despite childhood traumas, curves and unexpected twists in my life, Sophia's surgeries, nothing has ever shaken my beliefs the way these past six months of trying to have a baby have. More on that later.

Things are okay now, my missing part is back, my hiatus is over. Praise God. He is so patient with me.