March Resolutions

I've never been a fan of New Year's resolutions... you're so full of excitement and exhaustion from the holidays, schedules have been all whacky (so you think sure I can work out five times a week, because you've forgotten what you real life is like); you're just not thinking straight on January 1st.

But now it's March, and things have settled down. Daffodils are starting to remind me that Spring is right around the corner, and it just FEELS like a good time to make some changes. There's a reason people do "spring cleaning" - this is a season of renewal.

To be perfectly honest, though, I'm in "fake it till you make it" mode right now... and the resolutions I'm making reflect that. I've never been depressed before, so it's a little shocking to me what the past eleven months have done to me - I've lost myself. So, here are my resolutions - for the world to see - to help me find myself again, and get back to a place where I "feel it:"

1. I want to lose about 32 lbs before my brother's wedding in August. That's about 1.5 lbs a week. People claim to not be able to tell that I'm that much heavier than I used to be, which is only a testament to by great ability to wear fat-camouflaging clothes. I'm doing this the old-fashioned way: I'm reminding myself constantly that there are worse things in the world than feeling hungry.

2. I will wash my face every night, put on night cream and eye cream, and foot lotion, and nice pajamas, and all of the things I used to do.

3. I will make my bed, every morning.

4. I will do something active every day. Whether it's pilates or just a long, brisk walk with Porter, I will get up and M-O-V-E. No matter what.

5. I will open the mail every day and pay bills when they are due, not when the final notice or the phone call comes. I have never before lost the ability to function on such a basic level... for those of you who don't know me, I am like the definition of a Type A personality. And yet for months, I couldn't bring myself to pay bills or file papers or even OPEN the mail - not because we didn't have the money, not because there were so many bills, not because it was hard, but just because... I don't know.

6. I will end each and every day in thanksgiving. I am so abundantly blessed, and I know when I let thankfulness overwhelm me, and completely fill my heart, there is no room for self-pity, for depression, for anger, for doubt.

And I'm going to keep up with a couple more daily things - my goal, at least for the month of March, is not to skip a single day of...

Home Sanctuary's "small things" - check out Rachel's blog, if you don't know it. It embodies exactly how I feel right now - one day at a time, one small step at a time, creating a sanctuary (in my home, my heart, my body).

Beth Moore's Praying God's Word Day by Day - I am so excited to get started on this as soon as it arrives Wednesday (for those who don't know me, I'm also a notorious package stalker!)