Why People Put Leashes On Their Kids

We're in San Francisco this week, enjoying the city after a week way out in the woods of Big Sur. Sophia has this (awesome) book, and she's had the most fun finding everything from the book while we're driving or walking around. I'll have lots of stories and pictures soon... but I have no camera cord here, so they will have to wait until we return home this weekend. So, in the meantime, here is the security story I promised...

Before we even left Little Rock, the adventure began.

Going through security, we filled the entire conveyer belt with my carry on bag, the girls' carry on bag, a bucket with all eight of our shoes, a bucket of all the stuff from Davis's pockets (how can guys comfortably carry that much stuff in their pockets?!), a bucket with my laptop in it, and two Britax Marathon car seats. I'm mentioning the specific name of the car seats so that some of you might know just how giant and heavy they are.

So we pushed everything through the x-ray machine, and I go through the metal detector, no problem. Sophia goes through the metal detector, no problem. Amelia goes through the metal detector, no problem.

Have I mentioned that, even though it's a totally random Sunday in July, EVERYONE ON EARTH is traveling through Little Rock that day?

So now the girls and I are through security, all of our stuff has gone through the x-ray machine, and Davis goes through the metal detector. BEEEEP. He goes through again. BEEEP. At the same time "ma'am, would you step over here, I'm going to need to inspect your bag." At the same time, "ma'am could you please remove all of your items from the conveyer belt?"

So, while Davis is quarantined in a glass box behind me, I'm trying to pull a backpack, three big plastic buckets, and two giant car seats off the conveyer belt, watch the guy inspect my bag (because he won't do it without me watching), and keep my four year old and my two year old next to me while hoards of travelers pass by us. There's no place for them (or our stuff) to sit right there past security, so we're all just piled there. While Davis stands in a big glass box.

While I'm wrangling the car seats and Sophia over to the side, and still watching the guy going through my bag, Amelia slips over to Davis... I can see her, and I don't really think anything of it. But then, we find out that once Amelia passes into the glass box, she is now contaminated and cannot leave without being patted down. Well, at least I only have to wrangle Sophia and all of our stuff over the side now, while Amelia is stuck in the glass box with Davis.

Finally, the guy is done with my bag, Sophia and I are working on putting our shoes back on, and I'm trying to move our car seats out of the way of the other travelers while putting my laptop back in my bag... when they open up the glass box to let Davis and Amelia onto a carpeted pad that is roped off, so they can be patted down.

But, the ropes are way above Amelia's head, so as soon as they open the glass box, she runs under them into my direction. The TSA guy starts FREAKING OUT that she has escaped. But he won't touch her, because she is a female. Davis can't do anything, because he has to stay in the roped off area. So, with the TSA agent watching, I just push on Amelia's back to get her back under the rope.

WELL... now that I've touched Amelia, I am also, apparently, contaminated. So they take ME into the roped off area with Davis and Amelia. Meanwhile, Sophia is out in the traffic with all of our stuff, alone, while we are waiting for two female and one male TSA agents to pat us down. At the time, I thought it was absurd (like Davis could have taped some invisible bomb to Amelia's back that I picked up while pushing her under the ropes with everyone watching!) and mostly my mama bear instincts were NOT happy about Sophia being separated from us (she was standing still like I told her, and I could see her, but still... I couldn't get to her.) So I was crying and telling the guy to just pat us down already because I did NOT care if myself or my two year old were touched by a male, but no, we had to wait like five minute for two female agents to become available.

But then, after the most cursory of pat-downs, we were all set free... and it was all downhill from there.