What It's Really Like

My life is beautiful, it's blessed, it's full of fun and creativity and love. It's also full of this:

Sunday.

9:10 a.m. I am still in bed, because the baby was up too many times last night. Sophia comes in and asks when it's time to leave for church; when I tell her we missed church, she bursts into tears.

9:40 a.m. Guilt-ridden, I call my friend Ashley and ask whether they are going to Sunday School. They are, and I ask her to swing by and pick up Sophia, please. I rush to get Sophia dressed, while giving Amelia lame excuses about why she can't go to Sunday School too.

9:50 a.m. Ashley comes by to pick up Sophia, we talk about her teen daughter and I need coffee. They leave and I make coffee. Henry is crying, but I ignore him for a minute. I feel bad.

9:55 a.m. I am nursing Henry and Amelia is crawling all over my chair. It makes me want to scream, but instead I tell her to go get a book we can read. I read The Very Hungry Catepillar SIX times. Amelia wants me to keep reading, but I want to scream again, so I offer her milk instead. She will do anything for milk, so she leaves me alone.

10:40 a.m. I was going to be productive and do laundry, but I have just been sitting in my chair holding Henry and playing on the computer.

11:26 a.m. I re-heat vegetable soup from last night's dinner for lunch. Amelia decides she doesn't like it. I tell her that she liked it last night, but she won't budge. Sophia eats all of hers, and I let her eat jelly beans that she got in Sunday School. Amelia wants candy too, but I tell her she has to eat her soup first. She forces herself to eat and starts gagging. I tell her to stop, she throws up. I don't understand her.

11:50 a.m. I am trying to get Amelia to take a nap, but she won't. She isn't tired and I don't have the patience to enforce naptime. I tell her to just get up and forget about it.

12:12 p.m. I am nursing Henry in my bedroom while the girls play. I realize I haven't gotten dressed. I realize I haven't even brushed my teeth. I don't do either.

12:20 p.m. I finish nursing Henry and go into the living room. The girls have trashed the place. I mean spools of thread unrolled around the furniture kind of trashed. I scream and yell at them until they have it all cleaned up.

12:40 p.m. I go into the girls' room and they have also trashed it. They have pulled every book off their shelves and all the bedding off their beds. I yell some more. I tell them that they are not allowed to trash their room and then go around trashing the rest of the house because their room is too messy to play in. I tell them they must either stay and play in their messy room, or clean it up. I put them in their room and close the doors.

1:45 p.m. The girls choose to play in their messy room rather than clean it. They try to come out a few times, but I tell them to go back. Henry is screaming every time I put him down. I try to do some laundry, but quickly quit.

1:55 p.m. I decide I need a time-out. I get Henry settled down and take a shower. I let the water wash over me and decide to start fresh with the kids and the house. I get out of the shower and put on a dress and makeup. I feel better.

2:30 p.m. I am putting away laundry and I get Henry's room all clean. I tell the girls to hurry up and clean their room so we can go get ice cream.

3:15 p.m. Finally everything is cleaned up and the dishwasher is going. I get everyone in the car and we head out for ice cream. I spend the entire drive trying to decide whether ice cream is on my no-sugar diet. It's not, so I stop at Sonic for an unsweetened raspberry iced tea for myself. I know the raspberry syrup has sugar in it.

3:30 p.m. I get Shakey's for the girls. They are happy. It's a beautiful day. I feel bad about earlier.

3:43 p.m. We are driving home and I see giant billows of smoke and get curious. Instead of driving home, I keep driving toward the smoke to see what's going on. I get downtown and realize it's on the other side of the river. I turn around and go home and check the news. Recycling plant fire.

4:30 p.m. Davis is home from work now. I start getting on to him for being snippy with the girls. I feel like a hypocrite.

5:45 p.m. I am nursing Henry. Amelia is climbing all over my chair. I want to scream. I tell her to go find Daddy.

6:00 p.m. It's dinnertime, but I am just now starting to cook. Amelia is crying because Sophia pushed her. I plop her on the kitchen counter so she can watch me cook instead of playing with her sister. I notice she has no panties on under her skirt and her bare bottom is on the kitchen counter. I make her get down while I get the Clorox. She screams.

6:32 p.m. We are eating dinner. Davis lays Henry in the middle of the table while we eat.

7:00 p.m. I am getting antsy about the kids still being in the tub when it's already bedtime. But it's my fault for making dinner late. I take it out on Davis and tell him to hurry up and get them out of the tub and into their pajamas. Then I get mad that he is snippy with them again.

7:40 p.m. The girls are still running around and I am still stuck nursing Henry. I yell at everyone.

7:56 p.m. I tell Sophia they took too long, we don't have time for tea and a book. She starts crying. I tell her to get one short book. I read to them. Then I get mad again that they are not in bed yet.

9:15 p.m. The kids are all asleep and Davis has gone to watch a movie with his brother. I think that I like being a wife and mother when my husband and kids are not around. I start doing laundry and baking crackers. I start sweeping floors and wiping counters. I go look at the sweet girls sleeping and kiss them.

9:40 p.m. Henry wakes up. I nurse him and he smiles at me and everything feels good again.