Picky Eating

I am fighting a battle I was determined never to fight at our house... the FOOD WAR! My kids were all breastfed for at least a year, which was supposed to expose them to different tastes in my milk. They were weaned on avocados and other fresh, organic foods, rather than bland rice cereal. As one year olds, they were all drinking green smoothies for breakfast (fruit + baby spinach) and eating meals that included (spicy) Indian food and lots of fresh vegetables in every form. Right now, Henry's favorite foods are mango and fresh tomato. He shared a green smoothie with me this morning, and has yet to refuse a single food I've put before him - to include sushi, chopped raw veggie salads, and lots of well-spiced ethnic dishes.

That's just how I grew up eating, and that's how I cook. We usually have chicken one night, red meat another night, pasta one night, seafood another night, and vegetarian the other three nights. I mix up the types of recipes too, so we're not eating Mexican or Italian more than once a week. I get bored cooking the same things over and over, so usually at least half of what I cook is new recipes.

I just don't buy junk food - if you want a snack at our house, it's going to have to be an apple or a handful of baby carrots with hummus. Sometimes we bake cookies or other sweets on weekends, but that's pretty much the extent of sweets that live at our house. Other than some fresh-squeezed orange juice for breakfast, my kids don't drink juice, and I limit milk to after meals. We eat seven dinners a week together, sitting at the dining room table, with the phone unplugged (and I am fiercely protective of that time, although I know it will get harder and harder as the kids get involved in activities outside of home). But right now, it is extremely rare that we miss more than a couple of family meals a month. We have NEVER provided them meals other than that what we're all eating that night - they don't have to eat if they don't want it, but they know they won't get anything else. If they don't eat, I leave their dinner on the table until bedtime (about 1 hour). If they say they are hungry, I say "you can go finish you dinner, or you can have a really big breakfast tomorrow morning!"

My kids have grown their own vegetables, gone to groves to pick their own fruit, and most of the time (especially on weekends) they are in the kitchen with me helping me prepare our meals. We talk about what's in our foods, and why certain foods are healthy and not healthy. They can tell you about those Vegetables of the Week, I bet, including which vitamins they are high in and what they're good for.

My kids don't even know that restaurants have children's menus. Sure, when it's just smaller portions of the same food, I order from the kids menu, but usually - especially at ethnic restaurants - I order them an appetizer, soup, or small dish to split. They're not eating chicken tenders and french fries at a Vietnamese restaurant, they will eat steamed dumplings or split a main dish. It's just always what we've done.

And yet... both girls have recently succumb to "kid eating." And it's driving me CRAZY. I always swore I wouldn't get all worked up and emotional about food, that I'd just let it go and be easy going, so as not to make things worse. But I am failing, y'all. Big time! When my kids suddenly refuse foods they have always happily eaten, it makes me want to scream. When they say "I don't like that" without even trying it, or pick and pick without eating anything, it makes me so mad.

Sophia has always been a GREAT eater. I remember a friend of mine laughing because I told her that I had to watch 18 month old Sophia, to keep her from eating too many brussels sprouts, because they gave her gas. But now that she's in school, she has a best friend who is a very picky eater, and she's starting to be exposed to foods she's never had before, and she wants them. She is begging for Cheetos and Gogurt and junky cereal. I don't want to create a "thing" where these foods become something forbidden that they gorge themselves on when they visit friends or grandma. So when we're on road trips, I buy them Cheetos to snack on in the car. On hot summer days, we sometimes drive through Sonic for a cherry limeade. But I can see where this slippery slope leads, and I REFUSE to end up THERE. The girls want pizza and spaghetti for dinner every night. They start whining and moaning as soon as I tell them that we're having grilled salmon instead. They ask for snacks constantly, because they are not eating everything at meals. I've stopped taking them to the grocery store with me, because I don't want to have ANOTHER discussion about why we're not buying Captain Crunch. Foods they have eaten without issue for 4/5 years - oatmeal, broccoli, tomatoes, spinach - they suddenly claim they don't like and refuse to touch.

Sophia seems salvageable, she still craves fresh oranges with me and ate loads of sushi in California. I can tell, though, she is being influenced by friends more and more, as she learns what else is out there and not everyone eats like we do. And Amelia, some nights I have to just leave the table when I'm done eating and let Davis deal with her, because I want to cry! She will literally go to bed eating NOTHING for dinner, because she wouldn't even try what was on her plate. Her pickiness comes with an extra dose of stubborn!

Someone out there who's been through this - help me! Tell me... is this a phase? Is there anything else I can do? Will we make it through this without resorting to eating spaghetti and pizza for dinner every night? Should I lighten up and let them eat junk or lower my expectations of what they will eat for dinner?