Enemies

On the radio last Friday, when I was driving to my in-law's farm with the girls (and they SLEPT!!) they were talking about "Love your enemy" and who your enemies really are - not Osama Bin Laden, or someone you hate, but whoever at that moment causes you strife and anger, how it can be your spouse or mother or best friend... this really struck me, because I've kind of never paid attention to this piece of scripture. I thought "well it doesn't really apply to me" or "if I ever have any enemies, I'll remember this." I just never thought of myself as having enemies.

I have a quick temper, but it doesn't last long. Once I'm over something, I'm over it. I forgive in the true sense of the word - I literally forget. I can never bring up old stuff in a fight, because I just don't remember it once I've let go. I am absolutely impossible at holding a grudge. Even if I remember something that made me angry, once it's over I can't really summon those angry feelings again. So, although I might feel intense anger at someone, I just don't hold onto it long enough to turn that person into (what I thought was) an "enemy."

But of course I do have enemies. Sometimes it is the people whom I love the most, or people at work who I admire, or really any of the people in my life - most of whom at one point or another are in conflict with me. They are enemies because they cause me to think ugly thoughts, and they tarnish my heart with anger, and they distract me from everything that I hold dear and believe.

I am the president of a wonderful non-profit organization, which helps children deal with the grief of losing a loved one. Sadly, we have lost our major sponsor and are in dire financial need. Also sadly, this is causing a lot of stress on our board. My enemy today is another board member. We just can't see eye to eye right now or communicate, and some anger passed between us yesterday. It's spilled over to the rest of the board. The board that I am supposed to lead.

Then last night, I remembered... love your enemy. I have been so, so restless and sad and lost feeling, trying to figure out how to save this organization. But I realized last night that I couldn't do it without the board, and specifically without this other board member. I made the decision to see him as God sees him, with forgiveness. I apologized to him. I acknowledged that he had the same goals as me, that even though we may disagree about some things right now, he was invaluable to me. I reached out to the board.

I felt such a weight lifted, and all of a sudden today the flood gates opened, and everyone started emailing their ideas and their contributions. For the first time in months, the board was really function the way a board should and working together for the good of the organization. Although we are far, far from finding a solution, for the first time in several months I feel real hope about this.