Pride

Tonight I went to Hobby Lobby, and I noticed all of these sign for little kids' rooms and nurseries. Some of them had little nursery rhymes and stuff on themand were cute. But then I noticed that a lot of them (most of them) had things on them like "it's all about ME!" and "Princess with an attitude" etc. It just bugged me, especially since I've seen signs like these all over the place. I just can't imagine putting a sign in my kid's room that says "it's all about ME!" I can't really imagine any parent that really wants to instill that message in their kid. But maybe.

Are we taking the whole self-esteem thing too far? Yes, I want my girls to have fun playing dress up and princess, but I don't really want to cultivate a princess attitude. I want my kids to know how very precious they are and how much we love them, and how much we value their place in this family. But I don't want them to think that it's all about them.

I once went to an open house where the family obviously had an only child. Guessing from the toys in his room and the pictures, he was probably about six years old. There were pictures of him everywhere. I mean everywhere - on every surface and wall in the living room, down the entire looong hallway (with NO pictures of anyone or anything else!), all over his own room, even in his parents' bathroom! The refrigerator was covered with his artwork, as were any wall spaces that didn't have his picture on them. The house was like a shrine to this kid. His bronzed baby shoe, his handprint, his baby toys, everything was out on display. I'm sure his mother scrapbooked the fist kleenex he blew his nose into. I remember walking through that house and feeling immense pitty for the woman he might some day marry.

My kids are really cute, and they're pretty photogenic too (I'm not at all biased). I do have pictures of them in the house and in my office. But I also have pictures of other precious people in our lives, and I don't have more than a couple of pictures of them in a room and several rooms in our house don't have any pictures of them at all. I do have Sophia's art work hung up on one of the walls in our dining room - I just switch out the pictures as she makes new ones so we can enjoy watching her artistic abilities evolve. But we have no toys in the living room, the refrigerator has nothing but a shopping list and a favorite quote on it, the hallway has an old drawing of the Tower of London in it, and although we have two girls, we've managed to not own anything with the word "princess" on it.

I'm sure that Sophia won't have any self-esteem issues - even with her birthmarks and scars and reconstructed breasts, I just know this kid will have a healthy amount of confidence. But it comes from the fact that she knows how much we love her (not because I scrapbooked a page that says "you are my sunshine," but because instead I spent that time playing baby dolls with her) and she feels secure knowing her place in this family (which, even at not-quite-three, she knows is NOT the very center).

"Self esteem" is not a value above humility, modesty, thoughtfullness and respect in our household.

Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
James 4: 10