What I Know

Mostly, becoming a mom has taught me that I don't really know that much and I can't do anything without my God. But I have managed to learn a few things, like...

Yes, pigs do have belly buttons.

If your two year old sticks a bead up her nose, and tweezers, bulb syringes, pepper-induced sneezes and fervent lecturing don't work, you can squeeze the other nostril shut and blow in her mouth quickly and forcefully and the bead will come flying out.

When our parents said "because I said so" it wasn't because they didn't want to give us the real answer, they said it because that was the answer.

Depends (those incontinence panties I'll be wearing soon because I have no respect for my bladder and ignore it all the time) are way, way better than those mattresses the hospital gives you to wear between your legs after you have a baby.

Your second child will have a different experience growing up than your first. That's not a bad thing - sure she won't have a plaster footprint Christmas ornament, but she'll have the friendship and protection of an older sibling. If she's not an over-achiever, she'll be laid back and able to get along with everyone. We're all different, we all have different experiences. It's all good. Guilt is useless.

Breastfeeding hurts at the beginning. A lot. People who tell you you're doing something wrong because it hurts are wrong. It does get better after the first few days, and breastfeeding actually becomes awesome after about three months.

This was a hard lesson for me, but everyone was right: you have to pick your battles.

Everyone was wrong about sleeping when the baby sleeps. When the baby sleeps, you do the laundry and spend alone time with your husband and trim your toenails and run to the store and call your grandmother and...

Things change after you have a baby. Never say "I won't let my toddlers watch TV" or "I'll never use food to bribe my kids" or "I'll never let my kids sleep in my bed" or "I'll never wipe my kid's nose with the underside of my skirt."

You can read every book and blog and get advice from every trusty mother you know, but the best thing you can do for your kids is to learn who they are and follow your instincts. You are their only mother.