*my husband, who is the best Daddy to all of our children - both our living children and our angels
*my girls, who are the most compassionate, wise, funny, sweet souls in the world
*Henry, who is like a ray of sunshine in my life right now - his smile cuts through all of my sadness
*my friends, who have dropped everything to be with me, pray with me, provide me with unlimited hugs and babysitting and meals and support
*my church and its clergy and staff, who have covered me in prayers
*my doctor, who was more compassionate and reassuring than I could have hoped today, and also focused on a plan for running tests and aggressively pursuing answers, which feels like the right direction right now
*my doctor's nurse, who called me this morning and shared that she also had lost a baby at 11 weeks, who understood every nonsense thing I said, and prayed for me on the phone
*the ultrasound tech, who tenderly allowed me one last look at my baby
*that my doctor and the hospital were able to schedule my D&C for tomorrow, which allowed me today to get all of my ducks in a row but is soon enough that I do not have to worry any longer about miscarrying naturally, and also gives me time to heal before I have to go back to work next week
*God's peace, which allowed me merciful, deep sleep last night
*all of the women who have shared their own stories of loss with me - from strangers to close friends and family - dissipating the loneliness and isolation that comes with losing a baby
*a delay in the burial of my friend's recently lost twin babies, which means next week they will buried together with my baby, a source of comfort for both my friend and I
*that our truck broke down this afternoon, allowing Davis a chance to "fix" something with his hands, and allowing us to work together and be distracted for a few hours
*the girls' schools and teachers, who have cloaked our girls and our family in love
*my brother's healthy new baby boy - even though I have to love him from afar for now (he lives in California and I won't get out to see them for a couple of months), he is a huge source of joy for me
*my friend Carla's Italian turkey soup and fresh rolls, which are warming in my kitchen right now and are the first food that has really sounded good in two days... and which I'm going to go eat now!
For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the LORD that hath mercy on thee.
Isaiah 54:10
Isaiah 54:10
4 comments:
I am so sorry for you. I wish you didnt have to go through the D/C, so many stories I have heard how there was no heartbeat and as the woman waited for the natural miscarriage to happen, it never did. So the baby lived. Maybe you can read some stories at www.aboverubies.com, maybe that will give you comfort and hope. I feel so sad for you and so sad for your girls. May God give you the wisdom to make the right choice. I will pray for you fervently tonight.
with love Lena.
Oh Vera...I am crying as I read your words. It is so beautiful to see you thanking God in the midst of your sorrow. So, so beautiful. Even as my heart breaks for you, I am blessed by your raw faith as you cling to the Lord.
Much love and continued prayers for you...
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You and your sweet family are in my prayers, particularly today.
Love you, Vera!
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