Not Me Monday

Wanna know you're not the only one who looks the other way when the dog starts clearing the table for you? Check out MckMama's blog for everyone's Monday confessional. Here's mine...

I did not lose the ability to order Netflix movies because we lost The Bee Movie last year. So Friday night, I did not head to Blockbuster only to find out that in the six years since we rented a movie there, we'd lost our membership (sheesh! it's only been four years!) and I didn't have my driver's license with me to renew it. I did not then end up wandering over to the fabric store next door and make myself feel better by buying fabric I didn't need.

I did not, while swimming with the kids on Saturday look around and make sure I could find at least three women there who weighed more than me. Gosh, that would have been a HORRID thing to do!!

I did not, after lecturing everyone on sunscreen like I always do, manage to get a sunburn on my shoulders Saturday. I did not try to make it look less obvious by applying self-tanner on the rest of my body, which did not just turn me into a giant carrot.

My husband and I did not spend our entire Sunday morning in our pajamas laying in bed, watching The History Channel, snuggling and playing with our kids, and when we had a few minutes alone, making out. And by all morning I mean literally until noon. Nope, I'm sure we got dressed and went to church and took care of our house and our children.

I did not find out that three friends are pregnant and go to an appointment at my OB's only to get a room right next to the ultrasound room, where I could hear actual baby heartbeats and a mom squealing with delight at finding out her first baby is a girl and want to hurl myself out the window. When my doctor came in and started talking about the possibility of early menopause I did not, again, longingly look at the seventh floor window.

I did not skip kickboxing every single day last week for really awesome reasons like "I couldn't get out of bed."