Then I had a baby and realized I didn't know anything. After a while, I thought maybe I got the hang of it... but then I had another, completely different, baby and realized that I still didn't know what I was doing.
But THEN I had two more babies, and I am starting to feel a little smug again. Like maybe, just maybe, I DO know a thing or two. Maybe I am qualified to give advice and have opinions. At least about some things. Namely anything involving children younger than seven years old.
So, I am going to give you my opinion. It's totally opiniony and judgy. Strangely (not really - it makes sense!!) this is the exact same advice you'll hear from OTHER smart moms who've been around the block a few times. Like her and her and many others I've run across. But I'm going to say it again, in case there's any doubt.
There is a way to potty train, and it works. I've done it with three kids, who showed very different levels of interest.
It's simple:
1. don't put it off too long, and
2. just do it. All the way.
Potty training is a pain!! It really is, but if you invest in a week or two of hard core commitment, it will be over with, which is soooo much better than months (or YEARS for some people I know!) of dragging it out. There is no reason to put off potty training past 2.5 years. Closer to age 2 is better, actually, I think. I don't think there were three year olds in diapers running around when we were kids, definitely not when our parents were toddlers! Kids are totally capable of potty training at age 2 to 2.5 (barring some developmental delays, of course).
I start sticking them on the toilet before evening bath when they are around 18 months old. Just to practice. Then...
Pick a week, preferably one where there's not too much going on (or in my case, the last full week of school when there are a TON of things going on, whatever). Buy some jelly beans. Buy some cute underwear. Announce to everyone, especially yourself, that it's time for no more diapers. Then just sit your toddler on the potty every 30 minutes. Get them to drink a bunch. Turn on the faucet while they're sitting there - my grandmother did it, and it works. When they go pee in the potty throw them a party - clapping, congratulating, giving them a jelly bean, etc. If they pee on the floor, just say "ooops, pee in the potty!" and get them to help mop it up. Don't make a big deal over it. I would put your toddler in underwear and elastic waist pants/shorts, or if it's a girl a dress. It's really easy to potty train if they are totally naked, but I've found sometimes if they're used to being naked, they will then pee when they have underwear on. That happened with Amelia for a while. Anyway, the main thing is - NO MORE DIAPERS. Nap time and night time might take longer, and you can put diapers on them then, but never ever ever during the day.
If you are leaving the house, pack a bunch of changes of clothes, put a changing pad under them in the car seat, whatever, just don't put a diaper on them. Make them go before you leave the house, then sit them on the potty every 30 mintues wherever you are. Yeah, even gross public restrooms. These things help. When you're driving, just occassionally say, "Don't pee in your pants. We'll be at the store soon and you can go potty." Do NOT come up with excuses and stick them in a diaper. Long road trip? Hospitalization? Church? New baby? We've done it all, you can do it too. I think it's confusing for toddlers to go in and out of diapers. Either it's okay to pee in your pants, or it's not. Using diapers because we are being lazy or it's more convenient, and then expecting kids to figure out that they have to use the potty when we feel like it, NO.
Sophia pretty much potty trained herself by 18 months, but Amelia took longer - once we FINALLY committed to it (she was 2.5) and took away all diapers (pull ups are diapers!!!!) it took about a week. Henry did it in three days (at 2 years and 3 months). He hasn't had any accidents. Again, stick them on the potty EVERY 30 MINUTES. No toddler is going to think about stopping what they're doing to go to the bathroom when they're busy, and every 2 year old is busy all the time, right? So just take that responsibility away from them and be their peeing alarm clock. Stick them on the potty, turn on the faucet, give them a jelly bean and have a party. It's been 5 days now and Henry has started going to the bathroom on his own SOME of the time (I hear him in there clapping for himself and yelling "I PEED!!") but I still have to grab him and stick him on the potty other times. In a couple of weeks we'll be able to let up on the constant sticking him on the potty.
P.S.
One trick I've learned with boys - stick them on the big toilet facing the back! Keeps all the pee going down into the toilet instead of up over the seat! :)
10 comments:
I love that you said pull-ups are diapers...they are most definitely diapers. Great advice!
Yes, I love this!! I always love reading your advice because I listen! I need to invest in a kids potty because Nate was a little fearful of sitting on the big toilet...
Oh my gosh is that the cutest picture EVER.
Yes potty training is sure hard! I usually start training them at 2 years of age as well. 2 weeks and they are fully trained! :)
Easier said than done! What do you do when they will not "go" when you put them on the potty and wait until they are off of it and then go in their "cute underwear"? What do you do when they refuse to even SIT on the potty and throw a huge fit, and you have to MAKE them sit there every single time?
I finally had to take my pediatrician's advice and act like I didn't care if she used the potty. Even that didn't completely work, and she finally decided to do it on her own when she was about three and a half. Potty training is the WORST.
Anonymous - I think of course how you handle that depends a lot on your kid. Most of the people I've seen who have those kinds of issues have waited too long. There is a window around 2 years old, I've found, that kids are interested and willing. Sitting them on the potty regularly starting around 18 months or so also helps them feel comfortable with the potty at an age when they are generally pretty happy and compliant. Generally speaking, being positive, building up excitement, reading their favorite book while they're sitting there, and using rewards works well. I have always been able to find some form of reward system (whether it's praise or candy!) that works to motivate my kids to do whatever it is I need them to do. I would never "MAKE" a child sit on the potty - once you set up a power struggle it's hard to recover. All kids are different, but this is just what has worked well for me and for other moms I know.
What do they wear at night? In case of accidents?
We totally fell into the pull ups trap! My daughter got to a point she wouldn't poop unless she had one on. Thankfully all that's over. She's 3 and fully potty trained. However, I now have a beautiful bouncy babay boy who is about to turn 1. I knew pretty much what to do with my daughter but I am LOST with my son! I know nothing about peeing standing up and have no idea how to teach him about it! Help! What are the differences? Do I sit him down to pee? If so, when do I teach him to stand?
Love this and agree but potty training for pee has been pretty easy for all 4 of my children. All of my children have a hard time pooping on the potty. They hold it, wait until naptime or run and hide. I am in the midst of training my 23 mos. old and I am keeping her in diapers while she learns to poop on the potty. I'm telling my self to just persevere! SHe'll figure it out as long as I don't over react.
I took the potty in the car with us! I don't like public bathrooms and didn't want to put a little baby bum on a nasty toilet :) so we always had our own. I did everything you did with the same concept..... no more diapers, and organic jelly beans. worked for us! now I'm working on our 18 month old. and I've "caught" poop a few times. and we make a big deal about it. thanks for your great advice.
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